Unwelcome
by ThatTerribleAuthor
Summary: A recent argument leaves Sollux Captor single, alone, and practically broke. After taking a job at a Starbucks, his life seems to be changing for better. That is until he meets the pompous bleach-streaked prick known as Eridan. EriSol. Hinted SolKat. My writing is mediocre, so do not expect it to be all that great.
1. Prologue

**Author's note: **I type Sollux's lisp. Why? Charles Dickens. End of discussion. If you don'y like it, don't read my shizz. OHGODPLEASEDONOTREADTHATMEAN LY! Enjoy this little tale of two arseholes.

Unwelcome

Prologue

You have to be shitting me. This is not happening; the figure's slump on the couch is not one of guilt. "KK, why is your thtuff gone?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Karkat says bluntly "I can't deal with this bullshit Sollux. You…you are too much."

" I can not control my disorders!" I choke.

He grunts and picks up his stuff and now it is my turn to slump. "Maybe if you weren't such a selfish asshole you wouldn't have so many fucking problems!" He slams the door as he leaves and I mentally slap myself. Way to go shitstain. Your boyfriend- now EX- boyfriend-left you alone. Again. I am sure he isn't coming back.

I ruffle my hair go to get something to eat my feelings away. Before pulling out my fattening junk food, I see that dreaded sheet of paper. Oh shit. It's the bill. Karkat made sure to leave a bright sticky note on it. I peel it off and grit my teeth at the vulgar comment. 'GET A JOB OTHER THAN FUCKING BOYS OFF THE STREET.'

"Geez KK, way to leave a guy broke," I grumble to the air.

The crumbled piece-of-shit advice has made resident in the trash; six packs of salsa chips, half a gallon of honeydew sorbet, and a liter of blue rasberry soda have made resident in my gut.

They will plot out their vengeance later. Until then, Jerry is nagging at my skull.

_Hey Fuckwad! Inflating your intestines again? You are such a fatass, go stuff your balls in another ass and get over it._

"Thut up!" I howl. He doesn't. Charlie and Donna join.

_Oh wow you're at it again. Fuck yourself._

_Idiot._

_So…stupid!_

_You aren't even worth pitying._

A new batch of invisible groupies arrive.

_Whore. Slut…_

_Kill yourself._

_Why are you even alive?_

_I hate you!_

_You are nothing but a selfish asshole._

"Leave me alone!" I cover my ears and the voices just get louder. It is another sleepless night. Not a single tear is wasted. Every slice is worth the pain. My pills stay shut.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** No reviews? Dam. Welp. Eridan and some other familiar faces appear. Enjoy yet another chapter.

Unwelcome

Chapter 1: Thick Frames, Perfect Lips, Crude Mouth

St. Louis. It is a wonderful city with great sights, people, and weather. However, I have picked the worst day to go jogging to my new job. I don't have a car or bike, so it's not like it matters anyways.

A light drizzle keeps the green grass moist and gray clouds seem to turn black. The rain could have waited to pour but no! It has to drench me and my uniform a few blocks away from my destination. My lanky legs do me a bit of justice this time around.

My boss is sure to deliver her own justice as well.

"Captor! Late on the first day, eh?" I hate that voice.

"Thorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Captor." She tightens her lips with a smirk. "What shall your punishment be?"

She props her hand on her hip and a ringed finger on her lip. "Instead of working the register, you will be in charge of cleaning the lavatories."Her snicker is everything but sweet when her partner in crime hands me a mop with a matching chortle.

"But Terezi-"

"That is Ms. Pyrope to you. Leijon. Show Captor to the maintenance closet."

"Yes, Ms. Pyrope!" The glitter-eyed, feline-loving girl is overly enthusiastic when it comes to cleaning supplies. She displays each disinfectant, tool, and bucket with vigor and bright eyes.

"Pawllux, don't be sad. She usually isn't so joking around new workers-" She places a sponge into the bucket.

"Pawllux?"

"-like one time this one guy, who was really precious, had a bad stutter and she hammered him with teasing-"A bottle of soap follows.

"You theriothly called me Pawllux?"

"-and my friend got fired for sweating in the pastries-"She beams at a pair of rubber gloves.

"Jutht wow."

"-but she really likes you!" She slaps the plastic thing into my hands. "Don't you see?"

I grunted and she just sighed, leaving me to custodian duties. And man, it was just _great_. Especially when angry women yell at you for being in the Ladies' room despite the clearly placed "Closed for cleaning" sign placed in front of the door. When lunch rolled around, those floors were cleaner and fresher than I was all month.

"Are you Terezi Pyrope?" The deep voice stops me in mid chew. I swallow.

"Do I look like I have ti-"I raise my eyes and gape.

He is hot. Overwhelmingly so. Thick frames, soft wardrobe, taut muscles, fashion sense, and those lips just-

Damn.

"Ahem." He scoffs at me disgustingly so. I guess half-chewed alfredo bits is not very attractive.

"Thorry. Mth Pyrope is in the back."

"May you…" He inspects me up and down hesitantly. "Tell her that her co-manager hath arrived."

"Thure-"

Wait. Did he just mock me?

"Thank you." He struts away with his ass curving just the right way. That fucking prick.

That. Pompous. Prick.

We are not going to get along at _all_.

I stomp to the back room. "The co-manager," I spat," hath arrived."

Terezi looks just as annoyed as I am and groans. She removes herself from her computer and has her glasses slip down her nose before glancing at me. "Grab the mop. You're going to need it."


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's note**: I am on a trip. Posting will be a bit delayed, but the chapters will be longer! This chapter will have drama, plenty of coffee, and foreshadowing…! Enjoy another shizzy installment.

P.S. I am a HUGE fan of a certain show and if you can guess my reference I will love you forever.

Chapter 2: Melodramatic Managers, Clumsy Cats, Eridan's Email

Red: the color of blood and a favorite color of Terezi Pyrope, the queen of justice. She will not give up the opportunity to state her case and argue. Her eyes were ablaze and cackling escaped her lips. I shuffled behind with her requested mop and bucket. She was seeing red and I was not looking forward to cleaning it. The women's restroom was bad enough.

"Ampora…" He sneers and shoots a glare when she starts to speak. "I thought you were looking for locations to move our shop."

"I am doing quite the opposite," he retorts," about the issue. This is a Starbucks. Not a Forza or Tully's."

She groans."No one cares about your hipster tastes. This is a popular store and we need more space."

"No. This is a chain that has small spaces for a reason; people late for w-work or school grab sugary crap from the driwve-thru to get some caffeine. It isn't a sit-down-and-conduct-business cafe."

"We are taking this to the back, Ampora." She demands it and he acquiesces with a grunt.

I am about as enthusiastic as the pompous prick. With quiet protest, I follow them to a back room a little ways from the freezers. I shiver and set the supplies down. Just in case, I grip a damp washcloth and wring it out at the washing station.

"This establishment," she says formally," is one of the most well-known Starbucks in the city of St. Louis. Our customers are loyal. Our employees work hard. However, this space is small and a certain co-manger-"

Eridan does that little 'uh' and scoffs at the comment. God I want to punch those teeth out.

"-has been very rude to the said customers and is trying to limit business opportunity."

"Listen here, _Terezi._" He stresses her name to which she pinches her lips together like it is a huge disrespect. "Mowving the store is w-waste of money! W-what makes you think 'loyal' customers w-will stay 'loyal'? There are six other stores; no one is going to driwve extra miles w-when another store is just down the road."

"If you are so business-savvy, why don't you open your own store?"

"Then you w-would be going out of business." She witch-cackles, bent over with bright tears streaming down.

"Ampora, I have the right to fire you." She grows coldly serious.

Eridan shows no nervousness, no anger, no protest. He pushes a curled bang from his forehead. "Do you w-want to bomb this business?"

"I wouldn't be." She peers over her red shades." I may have been blind once, but even without my surgery I could see that you are a danger to this franchise."

He flinches and she straightens. The flame kindles and she takes her exit. The tension nags at my scalp as he spats at her feet. Nothing is said or returned; yet, it feels as blood has been shed.

Eridan looks at me and examines the chipped paint on the wall. He coughs to get my attention. My eyes drift to his and instead of glaring I receive a befuddled look. He steps in front of me, investigating me even further than our previous encounter. I shudder as he lifts my chin with his index finger. He smells my neck- the fuck? – and murmurs something before patting my cheek. My cheeks flush as I look down to avoid his judging gaze.

I hold the rag to my chest, stunned. I hear his footsteps die off and another set enter. "Captor!"

I raise my head quickly. "Yes, ma'am?"

"I sense…a mess about to be made for you."

"What-"A glass shatters somewhere in the coffee shop.

"I am so sorry!" A voice squeaks. Terezi chuckles.

"Have fun~"

Nepeta. You are going to get it. I find a frantic female sputtering over a pile of spilled coffee and shattered ceramic. I whip the mini broom out of her small hands. "Move."

I sweep up the sticky shards and mop the pungent liquid before I hear a squeal. "Oh fish sticks! Let me help you!" Oh. My. God. Nepeta I swear-

This time it is a couple whom are responsible. Honey, if my boyfriend ordered that girly drink, I would have broke his nose instead of his mug. And girl, a frappacino, especially strawberries and cream, is not coffee.

The clumsy cat girl wipes up the sweet-smelling puddle while I throw away a plastic cup and a ruined mug. She spontaneously smiles and giggles.

"What ith tho funny?" She glances at me.

"No offense," She wrings out the sopping cloth," but are you gay?"

I sputter. "Wh-what?"

"I'm not a homophobe or anything, silly! I just noticed the tension between you and Ampurra." I will gouge out her throat if she makes another cat pun. She practically purrs,"Afterall you and Karkitty dated once. "

"How do you know about…that?"

"He's my roommate." She tilts her head. "Did you not know?"

I shake my head. Before she continues, I bend down to help wipe up her mess. I swallow. "Ampora ith a prick and that ith all I am going to thay."

She giggles again and puts the rag in the bucket. "Sure…"

…..

I am still not used to coming home to silence. I don't smell warm supper cooked and ready on the table for two. There isn't a sappy romance film playing in the living room. The familiar knick knacks and plushies from foreign cartoons scattered around the apartment are missing. It's just…empty.

It's lonely.

My stomach whines. "Okay, okay. I'll make thome food. Geez."

I settle down at the counter with, my new diet, beef ramen and a buffering inbox. As usual, it is filled with junk mail and RPG responses. Wait. There is a new email address. "Grindsandgills?" I open the message and I instantly recognize the speech. Fucking. Eridan. Ampora.

_**Hello. I know you are probably wondering how I got your email. Working at Starbucks as co-manager gave me some needed information. Sollxander? Nice name. **_

_**Anyways, I overheard you need a roommate for your empty apartment. I know a printing company that makes nice flyers. I also know an interested guy who would love to live with you. He is quite the keeper.**_

_**Put all that aside. I need your help. Please reply.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Eridan Ampora.**_

Love? Love. ED. You are asking to get your ass kicked.

My fingers mash the keys.

_**First off, from your last conversation with TZ, you were removed from that position. Secondly, how the fuck do you know I am gay?**_

_**I do not need your help and you need to delete my e-mail NOW.**_

I run my fingers through my hair. Seconds after my message is sent I receive a novel from the blonde-streaked brunette with a stick up his ass.

_**Clearly you lack deduction and charisma. She threatened me and did not officially 'remove me from my position'.**_

_**As for your homosexuality, your hairstyle is messy but clean, showing you use hair product. Your cologne isn't exactly masculine and suggests a sweet spiciness, common in the gay community. Jeans, loose but not baggy; there is no belt so it is fitted at the waist. Shoes and underwear are a particular brand and well-kempt. Complexion is pale and clear; you have been making sure you have clear, attractive skin. Your shirt rose a bit above the hips, and they are round and shapely. Your entire figure is feminine and not in a natural way. Someone is not dominant in bed, clearly.**_

_**Also, you were so staring at my ass. **_

_**Face it. You need my help in more ways than one.**_

I sigh.

_**I'll give you my address, prick.**_


End file.
